Social Distancing from Astrologers during this Pandemic

 These are truly unprecedented times. Three months ago this planet was exuberantly celebrating the New year completely oblivious of a virus that was lurking to shatter our anthropocentric vanity. Within weeks, this zoonotic retrovirus upended our civilization with access to advanced medical expertise into an obsessive-hand-washing, loo-roll-stockpiling zombies. Overnight, buzz words like social media was deposed by social distancing, tik-tok is less chic than lockdown and covid-19 has eviscerated any utopic idealism of vision-20.

As the epidemiologists, virologists and immunologists across the world are scrambling to rein in this pandemic, some astrologers in India have been throwing their unsolicited hats into the ring. Sharing just the etymological constructs of “astro” and “logy” with the modern science but none of its scientific rigour, these charlatans have entered the fray with their chicanery that somehow explains or predicts this current calamity. As the world finds itself exposed and frenetically seeking for answers, Astrologers desperately trying to add to this conversation is understandable, if not commendable and is probably paved with good intentions. And Astrologers, like Homeopaths, Chiropractors and Osteopaths, truly believe that their discipline is systematic, precise and methodical that has stood the test of time and genuinely feel their intuitions and insights are valuable to the public discourse.

Overnight, child celebrities like Abhigya and other astrologers like Dr.Jai Madaan have become a sensation brazenly conveying their predictions on social media. Let me contravene the old adage by sparing the ‘child’ but spoiling the proverbial idiocy ‘rod’ here. When Prime Minister Modi called for national unity by calling for a national vigil by lighting a lamp on the 5^th of April at 9 PM for 9 minutes, Dr.Jai took to youtube to explain the intriguing phenomenon behind Modi’s plea to light the lamp at a precise time and duration. Was Modi really advised by the high priests of AYUSH, our Ministry of Superstition, on the precise time and duration would be a distracting conjecture that I don’t want to dig into. 

But according to Dr.Jai, this is akin to a surgical strike kind of moment and how the science behind this auspicious timeline reveals itself. Astrology is a predictive, remedial and guiding science, she exhorts before she explores how the planets millions of miles away subservient to cosmological laws somehow like some numbers , 9 seems to be their popular choice but our lunar compatriot has a special affinity with number 5. And by using some mental gymnastics she jumps onto the science of physics, on how during that time the sound energy and light energy mysteriously combines to help build your immunity. Before the credulous observer had a moment to grasp, we are into the world of immunology, a giant heck of leap from physics to human physiology. And the kind of light energy is also important, so she opines, as Rahu is allergic to electronic light from our devices, so better the light be emitted from lamp of Mustard oil.  

 This gives an impression that somehow Astrologers have a phenomenally deep insight into the world of cosmology and a quantum level understanding of  how the planets’ arrangement in one remote solar system, has a mysterious impact on one particular species of ape on planet Earth, inducing cellular changes in our biochemistry there by affecting our immunogenetics. And now you add, Vedic to this asinine discipline, we have a whole new field of Vedic Astrology that becomes sacrosanct. With such advance and varied knowledge across multiple disciplines, I cannot fathom why Astrologers don’t come up with what this third chimpanzee species  need to do for the spike proteins of coronavirus to stop binding to the ACE2 receptor of human cells and stop the disease in its tracks, or even better if they could enlighten us on which oil should be used to light the lamp  so that RNA dependent polymerase is blocked inhibiting viral replication. Just proclaiming that it helps our immunity is a tad too vague, dont you think?

While I await their advise with bated breath, Vedic Astrology or otherwise, I am less concerned with its pseudo-scientific worldview which itself is an insult to human ingenuity.  During this time of the pandemic where our weakness and fragility have been laid bare by a tiny virus, whose raison d'etre of its spreading is no different to us, i.e to copy one's genetic structure deep into the future, we are reminded once again our futility and short-sightedness of human centric world view. 

This dangerous anthropocentrism, the belief that the human beings  are the most important entity in the universe, and that the planets, the Moon, the Sun and other celestial bodies can be appeased by burning oil at some ridiculous time for the benefit of one species, is indeed the pinnacle of stupidity and unforgivable vanity. This signifies a lack of humility, that we are just a tiny speck in this universe competing with other species from gigantic blue whales to miniscule viruses, is nowhere more profound and glaring than in the field of Astrology.

As we are washing our hands, we should also incorporate some aspect of washing our minds off this idiocy and social distancing should include copious amounts of distancing from Astrologers.